he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
