I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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