It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
