Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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