I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Randomize
