ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
