I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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