My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
