Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
