why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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