My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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