It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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