hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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