I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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