Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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