Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
