Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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