Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
