You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Buhtt sex?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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