his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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