Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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