I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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