I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
