Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize