She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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