brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
