I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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