I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
