I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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