is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
