Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
