What did we do last night that was yellow?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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