So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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