Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
