One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
