You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
even my farts smell like vagina
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
