so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Randomize