I like to think it a success when the cops are called
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
