The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
