Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
is it fun? or sober?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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