dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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