I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can Purell be used as lube?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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