help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
