My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
