The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
