Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
