Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
