"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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