I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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