This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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