i don't like sucking hair
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I am one with the molecules
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
