I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
